A Butterfly in the Wind

My "mommy instinct" was right. Marley was diagnosed with mixed CP. He said it was one of the most severe cases that he has seen in a very long time. I knew she had it before she was even diagnosed, but it is still hard for me to hear the truth. It all seems so unreal to me. I have googled CP day after day but I am still so clueless. Its like I am in fog and cant see through it. The doctor said that Marley will never be able to walk. I guess we will all just have to move on and fast the facts of life. We will take this step by step, one by one. Its time to realize the truth and take it.
Marley has a lung infection once again. Sigh.
Time to move on. As of today Marley weighs 15 lbs 3 oz. I dont know what is going on. The way she eats you think she would weigh 30 lbs. She is oh so tiny. At 22 months old she wears a 6-9 months in shirts and a 12 months in pants for length.
Lately I have really gotten into reading poetry to my kids. Funny poems, sad poems, happy poems, any kinds of poems. They really enjoy it. I will try to post some of my favorites later along with some pictures.
God Bless

Pukesburg, TN

So lately I have been living in Pukesburg, TN. Marley has been throwing up everymorning and then right before she goes to bed. This has been going on for the past few days. And it happens atleast 2 to 3 times a month. Were going to try to get her some anti-naseous medicine to try to help with this. If any body has any ideas about how to get this under control please let me know.



Tomorrow me and Marley are going to the neurologist. A couple of former preemie parents referred me to him and said that he is an excellent doctor. Hopefully he will tell us if it is cerebral palsy or not. I am excited to meet him and I hope I will like him. On the other hand I know Marley will kick and scream and cry and hate him.



Owen is the best little boy. He hardly ever whines when I am tending to his sister and he never nags for attention. He understands that I love him just as much as I love Marley. Never once has he said that I spend more time with Marley than with him.

Live Like You Were Dying

Ask anyone who knows me. What is my motto in life? Live Like You Were Dying. That is truly how I try to live my life.
Three years ago I had my son Owen. He was the best thing that I ever had. I decided to get married at the young age of 16 when I was pregnant with Owen. A little bit later we decided to have another baby. Two months into the pregnancy when I began having problems he left me on my own to raise Owen and to go through this alone. I moved back in with my mother who was a tremendous help through out the whole entire thing.
Marley weighed 1 lbs 9 oz and was 12.5 inches long. She spent 4 whole months in the NICU before she got to come home. When we brought her home she weighed just 5 lbs 2 oz. Owen called her Ary. He was a big help to mommy. Always getting my diapers or a bottle or a toy.
Marley recieved cochlear implants 3 months ago. She has already had some improvements that I have noticed. When she hears my voice or Owen's she immediatly turns her head.
She is becoming such a big girl. Sitting here thinking about the last year is about to make me cry. She has had so many improvements yet so few compared to "normal" kids her age.
I know Marley has CP. She hasnt been officialy diagnosed with it but I know she has it. It is so obvious. Sometimes I just start crying remembering back to the NICU days. I would spend all day there then come home and hang out with Owen till we couldnt stay up any longer.
I am so blessed to have Owen and Marley. They are my life. My inspiration. My support team.
Thier my everything.